[Vaalingrade]

Time to rebrand, I guess >_>

 

[Harriet Schultz]

...and I thought my Gulfstream-owning, multi-residence, Maserati-driving MC was a paltry millionaire. Cheesh! If I up his bank account, will I have a bestseller or do I have to add tentacles?

 

[Zenferno]

Penning my next masterpiece right now.  Thinking of calling it:

Bound and Bred by the Babysitter's Billionaire Bad Boy Brother at his Birthday Bash (BBW, Booty's, BDSM, Werewolves).

A bittersweet coming-of-age love story of domination and submission.  Nicholas Sparks meets Selena Kitt.

'Sure to be a #1 NYT Bestseller'
'An incredibly original work'
 

 

[Nicole Castro]

This thread is such a shit show and I love it. LMAO

 

[Duane Gundrum]

I'm becoming a bit concerned. I've been seeing a LOT of books being published that have the same central theme: Girl is kind of dysfunctional but is spunky. Girl meets billionaire playboy (sheik, philanthropist, entymologist, champion fly fisher, supersecretive secret agent spy guy, etc.). Billionaire ties up girl. They fall in love. He buys her lots of things. She's happy. Somewhere down the line, I think the story ends with a gunfight, a sunset and Antonio Banderas singing opera, or something like that.

So, my concern is this: If I should somehow accidentally become a billionaire, does that mean I have to tie up girls? I'm not sure I understand the point of these stories.

 

[Nicole Castro]

I'm becoming a bit concerned. I've been seeing a LOT of books being published that have the same central theme: Girl is kind of dysfunctional but is spunky. Girl meets billionaire playboy (sheik, philanthropist, entymologist, champion fly fisher, supersecretive secret agent spy guy, etc.). Billionaire ties up girl. They fall in love. He buys her lots of things. She's happy. Somewhere down the line, I think the story ends with a gunfight, a sunset and Antonio Banderas singing opera, or something like that.

So, my concern is this: If I should somehow accidentally become a billionaire, does that mean I have to tie up girls? I'm not sure I understand the point of these stories.

He better be a damn vampire too!!

 

[MsTee]

I'm becoming a bit concerned. I've been seeing a LOT of books being published that have the same central theme: Girl is kind of dysfunctional but is spunky. Girl meets billionaire playboy (sheik, philanthropist, entymologist, champion fly fisher, supersecretive secret agent spy guy, etc.). Billionaire ties up girl. They fall in love. He buys her lots of things. She's happy. Somewhere down the line, I think the story ends with a gunfight, a sunset and Antonio Banderas singing opera, or something like that.

So, my concern is this: If I should somehow accidentally become a billionaire, does that mean I have to tie up girls? I'm not sure I understand the point of these stories.

NO.

But you WILL have to learn the Billionaire Handshake. A must if you are truly a Billionaire:

Time to rebrand, I guess >_>

There are no sexy wimmenz or mantitty or even dudes in shiny suits on that cover. Get thee back to your image editing programme of choice and fix that.

 

[D.L. Shutter]

So, my concern is this: If I should somehow accidentally become a billionaire, does that mean I have to tie up girls?

Don't be silly. Of course not.

You can afford to have your own private Shibari master come in and do it for you.

Besides, making a full body harness out of rope that someone can hang from in an optimal position, without it being a bunch of tourniquet's, is a giant pain. And it takes forever. You're better off outsourcing that stuff to an expert.

 

[69959]

I'm working on a vampire Christmas novel. Now I've got to figure out where to fit in a millionaire...

 

[MsTee]

I'm working on a vampire Christmas novel. Now I've got to figure out where to fit in a millionaire...

Santa Claus? He's gotta be mega rich if he's splurging on kids all over the world...

 

[Vaalingrade]

So, my concern is this: If I should somehow accidentally become a billionaire, does that mean I have to tie up girls?

It's not a requirement. You just get 'Stockholm Aura' as a special ability and the usual path to being a billionaire leads through being a sociopath anyway so...

 

[legion]

Wait! Don't let publishers find out the world "Billionaire" is popular! They'll want to change the name of some classics.

Moby Billionaire
The Lord of the Billionaires
Uncle Billionaire's Cabin
Gone With the Billionaire
For Whom the Billionaire Tolls
Nineteen Eighty-Billionaires
Pride and Billionaires
Love in the Time of Billionaires
The Billionaire in the Rye

...

Way too much awesome in the post.
Glad it's clear what my next project should focus on, and I might just use one of the above titles!
(Or perhaps Call of the Billionaire? The Billionaires Karamazov? A Tale of Two Billionaires?)

 

[69959]

I thought all vampires were billionaires? Years of saving, stealing, acquiring...
Just make sure he's broken and ruined. Not in a Lestat kind of way, but the kind where after he parks his motorcycle, he has to kick someone's *ss on a nightly basis in street fights.

I totally forgot about that. Most of the vampires in the series are royalty, living in a ginormous castle. Maybe I'll have to throw in Santa Claus then!

 

[ElisaBlaisdell]

Santa Claus would be interesting, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't get slapped with the Adult tag in less than 2 seconds. LOL

Well, just in case there's anyone out there who hasn't heard the joke:

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

[Dan Fiorella]

Well, just in case there's anyone out there who hasn't heard the joke:

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

I can't believe that! The man's a saint! He has his certificate up on the wall, right next to his college diploma!

 

[Lia]

Speaking to the topic, the billionaire books are targeted to the demographic with the most purchasing power: married women with minor children who do not work outside of the home. This is not to say that this group has the most money -- they don't. They're just the biggest spenders. Now, couple this with the precarious state of the economy and the lay-offs that are going on.

'Nuff said.

Trillionaire books might be a stretch, but I would assume that they would be more successful than a book called, oh, "The Groom Had Good Health Insurance."

I work in a marketing-related field, BTW.

 

[RaeC]

The Under His Plan series--Book 1:Bound, Gagged, Spanked...and Insured

 

[Dan Fiorella]

I'm checking my file to see if I pass the test; are there two billionaires who talk to each other and do they talk about about something other than money?

 

[Gennita Low]

He is one of the slickest men there is. In our male club (that only males are allowed in) this is called "The Fake-Out". The trick is to pretend not to understand a computer at all, to the point of growling at it and kicking it with a boot every few days. This trick is made even more authentic by the way he makes you cringe, even shudder with anger at how awful he is typing anything.

Guys like this are true professionals, and the fact that their partners are so deep in it that they will defend them on the internet when it comes to such a thing as porn, is a trait that most men would kill for. While not the rarest of skills in the 'men watch porn' reality, it is near the top.

Bonus: if your man has you believing his skills are this bad AND he's able to cover his tracks with history/cookie deletions (and other ways that are secret but if I told women then it would be like a magician giving up all the secrets to magic, which means a bunch of vengeful magicians would show up and make the traitor disappear...ba-BOOM!), then this man is nearing his 3rd Degree Black Belt in Porn-Fu.

Oops, I mean that's cool, I guess not all men look at porn.

(But seriously, they do. You can believe they do not, but they do. I'm pretty confident saying this without ever meeting anyone's husband/boyfriend/partner. I've helped thousands of customers over fifteen years and have dealt with every single subset of personality. We like porn. This is just how it is. You never see a child refuse sugar after giving it to them the first time, do you?)

I can easily persuade you. PM me and I'll send you an air ticket over here. You can watch us work on the roof. You can go to lunch with us and watch me type/write my books while he sits there reading his NEWSPAPER and reading articles out loud to me that I've read the night before on the computer. You can listen in on him asking me whether the Braves won the game the night before because HE DOESN'T WATCH TV. Then when I go home, you can follow him to the gym for the two hour workouts he does and then you can sit across from him at McDonalds till 2am while he bores you and the three homeless guys there to tears reading his Chemistry book and explaining the stuff in it as a way to memorize it (he's trying to be the oldest pharmacist in the world).

I dare ya.

p/s It doesn't mean he's an angel. He and I talk like any roofers while we're working, i.e. politically incorrect humor, swearing, etc. I'm just challenging your notion that every man knows how to find porn on the Internet or read porn on the side. Some men don't do it. Now, it might be they are of another generation, but that's another topic altogether.

Another off topic notion: If anyone tells you there aren't any roofers who don't smoke, drink like a fish or do drugs, you can tell them you know of two. Okay, I drink like half a fish, but only during writing conferences....

 

[Gennita Low]

I didn't know that I was married to your roofing partner... LOL! My husband is such a Luddite.

Betsy

That explains the cattle prod he has when he wants me work till 10pm!